2014, The Year of Big Dreams

I wasn’t sure if I was going to get another post up by the end of the year (with the holidays and what not, it’s almost impossible to commit to writing a sentence without getting distracted by a shiny outfit, a vodka soda or a family member), but as I was browsing Pinterest at 4 a.m. this morning unable to sleep, I came across a photo that stopped me in my Pinning tracks.

Why? I couldn’t tell you, because typically speaking I usually get stopped by shiny outfits and vodka sodas. Maybe I’m feeling extra verbose these days, maybe I like a challenge. Either way, I wanted to have a written record of my answers, so 365+ days from now I can look back and see just how inaccurate I was  😉

A Bad Habit I Am Going to Break: 

In 2014, I want to stop assuming the worst in people. I’m not saying I assume everyone is an evil bitch or out to get me, but I have a problem of letting past relationships and experiences cloud my judgement for future life decisions. Not everyone is going to screw me over, not everyone is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode or going to let me down. I need to start giving people what I expect, the benefit of the doubt until it’s not deserved. It’s probably my least favorite quality I have, and while it’s not totally my fault, because it’s very hard to let go of past experiences when they seem to continually happen, it’s something I very much want to walk away from and already have started, so let’s hope the trend of positivity only continues.

A New Skill I’d Like to Learn:

Patience. In 2013 I learned to “let go,” so to speak, and not be so concerned with what other’s think of me or that I need to plan every little detail of my life. In fact, the more I let go and give up control, the more fun my life is…. not going to lie, causing trouble (in a good way) is sooooo much more fun than trying to stop it. In 2014, I’d like to become more patient, in relationships, in friendships, at work, and…. in baking. I can barely manage a roll of cookie dough without getting antsy sometimes.

A Person I Hope to Be More Like:

This is a tough one to answer. Not because I don’t idolize every single important person in my life for one reason or another, but because I don’t know how you’re supposed to pick just one person you want to be more like. If I being completely honest, I would like to be more like me in 2014. With every year, I feel as if I grow more into the person I want to be versus the person I am, so if that growth could continue, I would be thrilled.

A Good Deed I’m Going to Do:

I’m going to make a bigger effort with my parents in 2014. It’s no secret to those close to me, and to those who are not, that, at best, my parents and I have a strained and fucked up relationship. And while I am 150% sure I do not know what I want from my parents, I can at least give them credit for being on their best behavior now, versus just automatically assuming shit is going to hit the fan. While shit usually does hit the fan, if they are going to put themselves out there, I can at least manage to be nice.

A Place I’d Like to Visit: 

Does all of Europe count? Because I would like to go everywhere I haven’t been and everywhere I have. But this year, if I can cross Birthright off my list (aka a free trip to Israel), that would be pretty sweet.

A Book I’d Like to Read:

For this answer, I already have the book downloaded on my iPad ready to go, I just need to get around to it. I would like to read the Divergent series, especially before the movie comes out. I would also like to read The Fault in Our Stars, again before the movie comes out, and finally get around to reading The Help. I guess to read a new book, I need to stop rereading The Time Traveler’s Wife and The Hunger Games trilogy. Maybe.

A Letter I Am Going to Write:

I can’t tell you the last time I put pen to paper and wrote a letter. In fact, the only person I can recall writing an actual letter this year is my stepmom, who has had the same pen pal for 20 years. Maybe this year I will write a love letter. Or a friendship letter. Or a letter to me. But let’s be serious… by letter, I probably mean email, blog or text. #21stcenturyproblems

A New Food I’d Like to Try:

This year I became a convert to raw tuna and oysters, so I’m not entirely sure what food to add to this list. I could always try to get over my strong aversion to raw tomatoes and mayonnaise. Does that count? Not that I see myself getting over that food hatred, but the thought should still count.

I’m Going to Do Better At:

Being decisive. No further explanation going to happen. I’m not going to sell the idea, to you or me. It’s going to happen. Decision made.

Progress

As you might be able to tell based off my blog yesterday, I have recently been venturing into the Samantha Vault of Stories Past. Enjoying the fruits of my labor, while also giving myself a complex over the fact that I used to be a much better writer, has been both beneficial and tormenting at the same time.

On the one hand, it has been nice to track my journey as a writer & human being; but at the same time, it makes me realize that I am not necessarily where I thought I would be in my 23rd year of life, not necessarily where I want to be… and I can’t help but wonder where I veered “off track,” if I really am off track, or if this is just life.

Other than noticing a decrease in my personal writing prose, one blog post sticks out in my mind in terms of life track gone “awry.” Written December 28, 2011, for this blog, it depicts a check list of everything I would like to accomplish in the coming years. While some happened naturally, and others didn’t happen at all, I can’t help but feel like in the grand scheme of things, my life check list train never left the station.

Let’s discuss my accomplishments & failures:

• Learn to love running. Not only did this not happen, I am pretty sure this is never going to happen. Sorry ’bout it, but I would rather spend double the amount of time hiking/elliptical-ing, not eating/dancing/dodging through moving traffic in high heels… than I would running. Think I’m over exaggerating? Well considering I almost bought a new workout hoodie with the words “Running Sucks” plastered across the back, I’d say my hatred is pretty real and isn’t dying anytime soon.
  
• Run a 5k. Considering I don’t even like running in the first place (see above), I highly doubt this is going to happen.
  
• Run a half marathon. Start training for a half marathon. Yeah right.
• Pull a Carrie Bradshaw and take a lova’. This item is still a work-in-progress. I did, however, find myself a “seasonal man friend,” but nothing happened/happens/will ever happen with that, it’s just a term of endearment/insanity. Besides I am pretty sure he bats for the other team if you catch my drift.
• Graduate college (hopefully I do not eff up the last three classes I need to take and accomplishing this goal does not become a problem. At all.) Thank god this actually happened. No offense to all of my super-senior friends, but I am very happy about the fact I received my undergraduate diploma right on time. That’s not saying I don’t miss being in college, because I do. Much more than I ever thought I would.
• Get a killer “big girl” job. A job? Yes. Killer? Not so much.
• Get an amazing “big girl” apartment. While my apartment has seen its fair share of minor problems, over all it is still pretty fantastic.
• Have an awesome New Years. I have had some great New Years, and some not-so-great ones, but I’m hoping one year (sooner rather than later), I can cross epic NYE off my list.
• Have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. Once again I came pretty close, but in the end I was my own Valentine. I did have my seasonal man friend cook me dinner, along with 5 other people… AND he got me flowers, which was so sweet. But strictly platonic.
• Get a dog. I can blame this one on the fact that pets are not allowed in my apartment.
• Not kill a plant that someone gives me. I have yet to kill the fern that came with my desk. And no, it’s not plastic.
• Learn to love walking in high heels. Not only do I love walking in high heels, but I wear them almost exclusively. If nothing else my shoe collection has vastly improved since 2011.
• Start to nap. I guess I have a few recent weekend naps for fun that I can use to count towards this goal. That being said I will never be a regular napper.
• Go to Thursday night yoga class more than once a year. I probably haven’t gone since before I wrote this… whoops.
• Get over my fear of heights. I haven’t gotten over my fear, but I haven’t been in a scenario to challenge myself. I realized though, it’s not the height I’m afraid of. It’s the possible fall.
• Go zip lining. Haven’t been given the opportunity. But I also haven’t gone out of my way to find an excuse to go.
• Continue to not drink soda. Well considering I had two sodas with lunch today, I am going to call this one a fail.
• Give up something else I love to eat (chocolate and alcohol would be too difficult… I’m thinking bread.) I don’t really eat carbs (especially on their own) so this is a maybe.
• Accomplish one thing on this list.

After running through the run down, there are definitely a few more successes than failures (which is not what I assumed would be the case.) I have also realized that while, for the most part, these goals remain tried & true, I have a few more important things on my mind I would like to accomplish:

• Apply to graduate school.
• Get a better understanding of what I want from my career.
• Write more.
• Read more.
• Spend time outside.
• Learn to not take things so personally.
• Budget my money more wisely.
• Relax.

Sounds simple enough to accomplish, but the older I get, the more I learn my life will always be a work in progress versus a series of finite items/goals checked off an arbitrary list. But as long as I moving towards a better version of myself, progress is fine by me.

Ghost of Blogging’s Past

As a former journalism major of Towson University, I have grown quite accustomed to the ins-and-outs of the world of WordPress. Every class meant a new blog, video, byline, biography, hook, and three creative-intensive months of my life. While difficult, the end results were almost always worth the struggle, and I reflect back to some of the copy as my strongest work yet.

One blog that I am particularly fond of is a “do-it-yourself” budget/shopping guide circa my junior year spring semester… aptly named Stylishly Smart. Over the course of three months, I gave advice on how to build and live off of a budget of your own creation. This site also saw the birth of my favorite “Favorite Things” posts. Close to my heart, I still reference this site when I am struggling to find the words I desperately want to say, knowing that if I could knock it out of the park with a subject as foreign to me as saving over spending, I can certainly string together a few sentences about nail polish.

So, in celebration of Stylishly Smart, I wanted to share with you all the post I am most proud. If nothing else, you will learn that I can certainly talk the talk when it comes to saving money, even if I can’t walk the walk.

Guidelines for a Girl Who Likes to Break the Rules

I was recently inspired by an article I read on cnnmoney.com that aimed to teach its readers how to make and live off of a budget. However their guidelines weren’t all that applicable to my life, as it was directed towards readers who are older, wiser and have more fiscal responsibilities than I do. So I decided to create a new set of instructions for how to manage your money and why, with the hope that these instructions would resonate better with broke, busy college students who are still learning how not to indulge and the importance of acting like an adult when it really matters.

1. Rules are unavoidable if you can’t say no.

If you are like me, and can pretty much always find something to buy, when you want to buy something, just to buy something, then you know monitoring your money is the only way of staying under shopping control.

2. The easiest way to follow a set of rules  is to tailor them to best fit your lifestyle.

Start keeping a list of everything you spend your money on and how much it costs.

Additionally, create a set of categories (rent and bills, groceries, food and beverages, entertainment, clothing, etc.) to characterize all of the ways you spend your money and then rank those categories based on level of importance. Highlight the items on your list in colors specified to each category to see exactly how your money is being spent.

By having your purchase history color-coded in front of your face, it should help you curb purchases in certain categories (clothing, beauty) and save extra money for purchases in more important categories (bills, groceries.)

3. Don’t let budgeting run your life.

It is important to pay attention to how you are spending your money, but budgets are meant to be used as general guidelines for your life, not hard and fast rules for controlling your bank account. If you start becoming too afraid to spring for the fresh over canned vegetables because the canned vegetables are cheaper, it might be time to reevaluate.

5. Don’t stop keeping track of your spending just because you are getting a handle on it.

Its easy to let your spending habits become out of control if you stop paying attention. Remember, it has already happened once before, which is why you started budgeting in the first place.

6. Spending more than what you have in your bank account is NEVER a good idea.

You are not obligated to spend your entire paycheck every time you deposit it into your bank account. Having savings built up is a good thing.

7. Buying what you need is always more important than buying what you want.

Necessities first. Always.

8. It’s okay to indulge.

Living off of a budget is easier than expected if you let yourself buy luxury items every once in awhile. Instead of shopping every week just for the thrill of always wearing new clothing, save your leftover cash flow for something worthy of your hard earned money. It doesn’t even have to be a big, expensive purchase, but you will enjoy it much more when shopping is a special occasion not a regular occurrence.

Now to the big question… does all of this really make a difference? At the end of the day, you are capable of spending your money however you want, and regardless of the rules you set for yourself, no one but you can stop you from breaking them. But I like to think about it this way: If I spend my money however I want, whenever I want, I am not going to be able to afford that leather jacket from UK clothing import AllSaints Spitalfields that I have been dying to add to my wardrobe, and will instead be shopping in the clearance section at Walmart. Although shopping at Walmart has its perks- I love a good blue light special- in the long run my wardrobe will benefit much more from a quality leather jacket then one made of polyurethane.

Thanks to the guidelines I have set for myself, I can confidently attempt to keep track of when I spend and when I save, and the next time I venture out into the wonderful world of retail, I will feel prepared to smartly navigate through all of the sales and bargains that lie ahead.

DTF

So I was listening to the radio on my way to work this morning (something that I rarely do), and the DJs were discussing New Year’s resolutions. One in particular that caught my ear was a resolution made, and now publicly shared, by one of the radio station’s female interns.

The story goes like this (and I would like to preface this story with the fact that, while this is not autobiographical, it may as well be)…

A nameless female intern at a Baltimore Top 40 radio station was going through a bit of a dry spell. Like many other young women, giving it up to any random man isn’t as easy as it seems, but fearing she was too picky and therefore would basically end up re-virginizing herself, she decided that in 2013 she would resolve to be a slut.

Armed with one excellent push up bra, too much mascara and an exceptionally short skirt, into the dating world she went, aiming to bone the first male she deemed worthy.Unfortunately for this homegirl, much like the Mayan calendar predicting the end of the world, her mission was not a success.

While I imagine this is not the first time in the history of the world that a scenario such as this has taken place, what amazed me the most about the whole ordeal was that the radio staff was acting as if this was the strangest thing they have ever heard. In their eyes, breaking a dry spell should be a piece of cake, especially if you are of the lady persuasion.

As someone currently in a similar situation, I resent the fact that the DJs automatically assumed their must be something fundamentally wrong with this girl, because otherwise there should be no reason why she couldn’t get it in if she wanted to.

That being said, I did go on a date recently who told me that, nine times out of 10, women hold all the power when it comes to sex, and short of asking a celebrity or saying, “hey, feel like potentially catching an STD?”, as long as the guy has a pulse and is marginally attracted to you, he will always say yes.

So I don’t know.

Is this girl’s (and my) game completely off? Are we just way too picky? Or do we not have nearly as much power as claimed above?

2012 in Review

Wanted to share with you all a 2012 annual infographic WordPress prepared for this blog; I mean, I do love a good infographic.

Happy 2012!

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Tis the Season to Be Single?

Alright, time to get serious.

I am officially in full-on holiday spirit mode.

What does that mean? Listening to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” like it’s my job, wearing more glitter in my day-to-day outfits than Sophia Grace & Rosie, deciding exactly how I want to perfectly decorate my (non-existent) silver tinsel Christmas tree, and obsessing over a New Year’s Eve dress that I will probably only wear around my apartment.

While that may seem a tad nuts, if I am being perfectly honest I really couldn’t care less. It’s after Thanksgiving, for the first time in four years I am not working in retail during the holiday season, and therefore find it completely acceptable to be swept away with tidings of good cheer.

Yet even with all of this Christmas bliss, there is still a “dark side” to my holiday season that I am constantly being nagged by.

Once again I am spending a holiday season single.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoy being single most of the time, and spending the holidays unattached definitely has its advantages. But it would be nice to know that I have a built in New Year’s kiss, holiday party drinking buddy, and real-life Valentine (versus my long-standing dream scenario).

My biggest problem is, because a majority of my friends come with their very own plus-one, I sometimes find myself drinking wine alone in my apartment more than I would like. And it’s not even like I looking for something super serious, just serious enough that I don’t always have to pay for my own dinner and drinks.

That is why I am officially sharing my holiday wish on the blog and sending it out into the universe…

Wanted: Slightly-serious but still fun and casual seasonal boyfriend.

• Must be willing to spend now through Valentine’s Day with me, including major holidays, two weekend days a month and dinner/drinks/coffee one night a week.
• Need to have a great sense of humor and a desire to be social and have fun, not require a makeover, get along with my friends, and actually want to text me every once in a while.
• In terms of looks, ideally I like dark hair with light eyes, and someone super tall. I also appreciate a nice smile. Basically if you look anything like Adam Levine, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum, Cory Monteith, a tall Zac Efron (even a life-sized Zac Efron) we’re good.

If you are wondering whether or not I realize I sound like I need to be committed to a mental institution, then the answer is yes, yes I do.

And it’s not like I am actually being 100% serious about my wanting this kind of Christmas miracle. But I mean, if I am going to go for it, I might as well go for it.

Besides holiday time or not, I always sound like a crazy person… At least I am upfront about it.

Favorite Things

Can I get a woohoo for today being Friday?! It has been a long week, and there has been a definite lack of sleep (partially because of my midnight Magic Mike showing… yum), but overall it has been quite the good one and the weekend means we are that much closer to the Fourth of July, my mini-vacation back to PA, my camp reunion and — most importantly — my friend Christy’s wedding!

I recently went digging into the depths of ecrivez la vie, and decided to use this Favorite Things as an homage to my favorite things from ecrivez la vie.

(51) Expectations vs. Reality

I think this might be the best blog post I have ever written, if not one of the very best. Not to toot my own horn, but it’s smart, witty, sarcastic and self-depricating. Not only some of my best/most-annoying qualities, but some of my favorite signatures for my writing.

(53) “You Know This Conversation is Only Appropriate Because it’s Eight  in the Morning, Right?”

Another one of my better blog posts, and never fails to put a smile on my face. One glance at the title alone sends me right back to that early morning chat sesh and into an intense set of giggle fits.

(6) “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things…”

The first Favorite Things ever! While it may not be the best of the best, it is certainly the one that started it all.

(1) “I’m Getting the Silent Treatment for Christmas”

Boy, did I get in a lot of shit for this blog post. That being said, I really couldn’t care less. It’s the first one of a very long (albeit short in the long run) blog journey and I wouldn’t have started it on any other foot.

(76) Favorite Things

This has been one of the longest, most draining weeks of my entire life. I completed 25 hours at work, 17 hours at my internship, and managed 12 credits worth of classes. Add to that homework, a social life, grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, sleep, whatever…. it’s safe to say I need a nap and a cup of coffee just from thinking about everything I did again.

This upcoming week is spring break, and while I am staying in Maryland and soaking up all of the gorgeous weather we are having, it has not been lost on me that this is probably my last spring break. Ever. I graduate from college May 25th at 2 p.m. (but whose counting) and as of right now plan on venturing into the 9-to-5 business world — as long as I can find a job… insert unsubtle note to anyone hiring here (wink, wink) — and not head off to full-time graduate school or a career in education where things like spring break and summer vacation still exist. To say that is incredibly overwhelming and terrifying is an understatement. Add that to the crippling fear all soon-to-be college graduates face of, not only not being a student anymore, but not being able to find a job, and it’s not only not fun, but extremely panic attack inducing.

Deep breaths, lots of alcohol, and a good splash of Favorite Things will help turn it all around.

Neon Trees, “Everybody Talks” 

I love me some Neon Trees, and upbeat summer anthems. Put those two things together and you get “Everybody Talks.” With a great musical arraingemet, catchy hook and punchy lyrics, I can’t help but want to roll my car windows down every time this tune is playing, turn up the volume and rock out.

China Glaze in Flip Flop Fantasy

This color is amazing. The perfect spring/summer hue. It’s bright enough that it goes with every skin tone, but not so overwhelming that it’s sassiness annoys you after five minutes of looking at it.

Gap Floral Wedge Sandals

I bought these shoes two days ago and have already worn them three separate times. They are awesome. Super cute and comfy, so easy to walk in, and the amount of compliments they attract are in-sane. I literally cannot stop thinking about how much I love these shoes and absolutely cannot wait to wear them again.

(75) Something Borrowed…

For those of you who, like me, don’t ever pay attention to anything not immediately about your own life, I am happy to confirm that today is in fact the end of day light savings. Congratu-freaking-lations on losing an hour of sleep and not having any idea until you woke up this morning.

I hope today’s Something Borrowed helps make the sudden blow of sleep deprivation a little easier. If there is one skill I am lacking in, it is the art of mind-blowing, breathtaking photo blogging. Today’s Something Borrowed author doesn’t seem to have that problem.

Words in Progress

I recently spent a weekend camping and hiking in Big Sur, CA and was shocked it’s taken me three years in California to make it here.  Spectacular.

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(73) I Am Emotionally Exhausted

Let’s face it… girls like to talk. Especially to one another. And usually about the most personal details of their lives.

So, when you, your BFF, your friend, your friend’s friend, and your friend’s friend’s boyfriend, are all having emotional crises, and you are all discussing those crises with one another, it’s so freakin’ draining. And the only thing that cures it is a giant bottle of wine and a chick flick movie marathon.

Of course if things were really that easy and free time to get drunk and watch movies in the middle of the day was that accomplishable, we probably wouldn’t be having these dramas in the first place.

Oh, white girl problems.