Progress

As you might be able to tell based off my blog yesterday, I have recently been venturing into the Samantha Vault of Stories Past. Enjoying the fruits of my labor, while also giving myself a complex over the fact that I used to be a much better writer, has been both beneficial and tormenting at the same time.

On the one hand, it has been nice to track my journey as a writer & human being; but at the same time, it makes me realize that I am not necessarily where I thought I would be in my 23rd year of life, not necessarily where I want to be… and I can’t help but wonder where I veered “off track,” if I really am off track, or if this is just life.

Other than noticing a decrease in my personal writing prose, one blog post sticks out in my mind in terms of life track gone “awry.” Written December 28, 2011, for this blog, it depicts a check list of everything I would like to accomplish in the coming years. While some happened naturally, and others didn’t happen at all, I can’t help but feel like in the grand scheme of things, my life check list train never left the station.

Let’s discuss my accomplishments & failures:

• Learn to love running. Not only did this not happen, I am pretty sure this is never going to happen. Sorry ’bout it, but I would rather spend double the amount of time hiking/elliptical-ing, not eating/dancing/dodging through moving traffic in high heels… than I would running. Think I’m over exaggerating? Well considering I almost bought a new workout hoodie with the words “Running Sucks” plastered across the back, I’d say my hatred is pretty real and isn’t dying anytime soon.
  
• Run a 5k. Considering I don’t even like running in the first place (see above), I highly doubt this is going to happen.
  
• Run a half marathon. Start training for a half marathon. Yeah right.
• Pull a Carrie Bradshaw and take a lova’. This item is still a work-in-progress. I did, however, find myself a “seasonal man friend,” but nothing happened/happens/will ever happen with that, it’s just a term of endearment/insanity. Besides I am pretty sure he bats for the other team if you catch my drift.
• Graduate college (hopefully I do not eff up the last three classes I need to take and accomplishing this goal does not become a problem. At all.) Thank god this actually happened. No offense to all of my super-senior friends, but I am very happy about the fact I received my undergraduate diploma right on time. That’s not saying I don’t miss being in college, because I do. Much more than I ever thought I would.
• Get a killer “big girl” job. A job? Yes. Killer? Not so much.
• Get an amazing “big girl” apartment. While my apartment has seen its fair share of minor problems, over all it is still pretty fantastic.
• Have an awesome New Years. I have had some great New Years, and some not-so-great ones, but I’m hoping one year (sooner rather than later), I can cross epic NYE off my list.
• Have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. Once again I came pretty close, but in the end I was my own Valentine. I did have my seasonal man friend cook me dinner, along with 5 other people… AND he got me flowers, which was so sweet. But strictly platonic.
• Get a dog. I can blame this one on the fact that pets are not allowed in my apartment.
• Not kill a plant that someone gives me. I have yet to kill the fern that came with my desk. And no, it’s not plastic.
• Learn to love walking in high heels. Not only do I love walking in high heels, but I wear them almost exclusively. If nothing else my shoe collection has vastly improved since 2011.
• Start to nap. I guess I have a few recent weekend naps for fun that I can use to count towards this goal. That being said I will never be a regular napper.
• Go to Thursday night yoga class more than once a year. I probably haven’t gone since before I wrote this… whoops.
• Get over my fear of heights. I haven’t gotten over my fear, but I haven’t been in a scenario to challenge myself. I realized though, it’s not the height I’m afraid of. It’s the possible fall.
• Go zip lining. Haven’t been given the opportunity. But I also haven’t gone out of my way to find an excuse to go.
• Continue to not drink soda. Well considering I had two sodas with lunch today, I am going to call this one a fail.
• Give up something else I love to eat (chocolate and alcohol would be too difficult… I’m thinking bread.) I don’t really eat carbs (especially on their own) so this is a maybe.
• Accomplish one thing on this list.

After running through the run down, there are definitely a few more successes than failures (which is not what I assumed would be the case.) I have also realized that while, for the most part, these goals remain tried & true, I have a few more important things on my mind I would like to accomplish:

• Apply to graduate school.
• Get a better understanding of what I want from my career.
• Write more.
• Read more.
• Spend time outside.
• Learn to not take things so personally.
• Budget my money more wisely.
• Relax.

Sounds simple enough to accomplish, but the older I get, the more I learn my life will always be a work in progress versus a series of finite items/goals checked off an arbitrary list. But as long as I moving towards a better version of myself, progress is fine by me.